The Fish Story
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•February 15, 2017
When You See What You Want to See; The Politics of Express Line Standing
I often get outed for the way this column seemingly strays so far afield of fishing. Hey, “The Fish Story” title can be read in a slew of ways. Sure, angling is the more obvious way to go. But it is…
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•February 8, 2017
Bring Us Your Toxic Spiders, Please; A New Drone for Looking Down Under
SPIDER-FLICKING TIME DOWN UNDER!: I’ve always been a bit of a poisonous creature aficionado, though I’m not overly good at it. I’ve been bitten, stuck, poked, stabbed, stung and otherwise envenomated…
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•February 1, 2017
A Jersey Girl With Pop Takes D.C.; They Should Be Named as Original
There is nobody capable of steering clear of today’s politically charged American atmosphere. It’s like trying to ignore Zambelli fireworks … going off 24/7.
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•January 25, 2017
Let’s All Get Out and Forest Bathe Together; A Mega-Groin Will Mark the End of Holgate
I want to talk about bathing with a friend. And, no, this doesn’t mean librarians will have to black out my column again this week. The co-bathing of which I speak is as pure as falling rain –…
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•January 17, 2017
Alligator Filets Great for Lenten Friday; Pretty Scenes Won’t Float in Floods
GATOR MEAT DISPENSATION: I have to share a weirdish little experience I had in the Manahawkin ShopRite. It occurred as I was covertly taking a sneak cell phone photo of the frozen seafood section.
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•January 10, 2017
Rare Bird Lands in Tuckerton; Slushlactites By Any Other Name
By the time you read this, I’ll likely be out-and-about again, after sweating out a highly aggravating bout of snowed-in, beach bungalow fever. I got some art and writing done but I mainly paced…
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•December 21, 2016
Mirrors Tell More Than They Reflect; Angling Year That Was ‘the Dickens’
THAT’S ME, RIGHT?: Is a mirror a reflection of intelligence? It depends how you look at it.
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•December 14, 2016
High Time for Tripping on Dream Fish; All Jersey Wild Turkeys From a Mere 22
MAGIC CARPET ROMANS: I must take a segment to make mention of psychedelically inclined, fish-sucking Romans. Whadda ya mean that needs some explaining? It wouldn’t if you hadn’t missed the Fishology…
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•December 7, 2016
The Heart of Fire-Fishing in Asia; Low-Snow Start of Poor Jay’s Almanac
The Long Beach Island Surf Fishing Classic is officially kaput for 2016. The final fish was an 18-pound bass caught by Randolph Minix, in BH on bunker. That brought the grand take of bass to 56 fish…
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•November 30, 2016
Red Drum Take to Hot Blackening; In Woods Wear Orange, and Step Sharply
RED DRUM AND BLACKENING: Joe Handley recently vied for a $100 prize in the LBI Surf Fishing Classic by weighing in the event’s first legal red drumfish. He caught two “puppy drum” (small drumfish) in…
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•November 22, 2016
Hot Bite Cooled Down in a Flash; Chilled Clams In It for the Long Run
I need to commence by mentioning the season’s first spurt of bite-ness. I’m referencing the kinda-impressive burst of bass and blues late last week, mainly Spray Beach and Beach Haven beachfronts.
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•November 16, 2016
It’s Time to Go After Shore Towns That Are Badging Everybody
Growing up, I was repeatedly told that anyone can become president in America. I guess I never realized how much of an anybody that might mean.
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•November 9, 2016
More Than One Way to Name a Fish; Plugging Holds Own Against Bunker Chunks
It’s one of the sunniest falls on record. Yes, someone somewhere keeps a strict record of any and all sunniness – and makes twice what I do.
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•November 2, 2016
Considering Our Hearing, It’s Very Deer; Bullets and Coffee Beans Don’t Always Mix
LAST CALL: Make sure to fish the Maximilian Foundation’s Striped Bass Boat Tournament & Fish Fry. This year it’s based out of Manahawkin Elks Lodge #2340. Still time to climb aboard. Weather looks…
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•October 26, 2016
Anglers a Bit Fangshengish Every Time We Catch and Release
Did you know we’re being a bit Buddhist when practicing our catch-and-release beliefs? It’s a distant form of a highly venerable Buddhist practice called fangsheng. No, fangsheng has nothing to do…
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•October 18, 2016
Iraq Flight to See Sumerian Angels; Naked Truth About Extreme Birdwatchers
ALIEN ASTRONAUTS AND ANGELS: Oh, do I have a world-class freak-thing to pass on this week. To stay in theme, it remotely has to do with Iraq encouraging anglers to fish there. Yes, that’s a…
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•October 12, 2016
Bigfeet Will Soon Be Hounded; Clown Around and Pay the Piper
Well, it’s on. After a blown-out start, the weather, waves and water have all assumed a gorgeous autumnal state of mind, though a 69-degree water temp over the weekend was a bit off the normalcy…
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•October 4, 2016
Headed to Jail in a Milk Crate; Soft Talking a Trapped Lady ‘Squunck’
So, how do you look in bright orange? I’m not talking seasonal hunter’s orange or spooky Halloween orange. I’m talking the unique orange tones of a county jail jumpsuit. Many of us could soon be…
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•September 27, 2016
Taking Kidney Stones for Great Adventure Ride; Awaiting Permit Delivery for Roadkill Deer
STONED ON A ROLLER COASTER: When’s the last time I wrote about kidneys in here? I’ll tell ya when: never, that’s when. Yet those essential dual organs, empowered to maintain bodily pH, are within…
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•September 20, 2016
Mighty Fine Boulevard Splash; Getting Dander Up Over Urban Pants and Burkinis
In case you weren’t splashing around the Island on Monday, that was some damn decent flooding, the type flooding I thought we might have seen with that recent flub of a tropical storm. Over three…
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•September 13, 2016
Speed-eaters Go Green Hot Dog! ‘Hey Mister, Why Does Sand Scream?’
Years back, I interviewed an American champion speed-eater, competing in a world-class contest in Atlantic City. He wasn’t a big guy at all, medium-weight at most. And he talked real slow, which I…
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•September 7, 2016
Hermine Was Low on Impact and High on Oddness; Smallest of the Small Shall Save a Plasticized World
It’s life after Hermine … and I feel REM-ishly fine.
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•September 3, 2016
Hermine Gets Complicated
Noon, Saturday, Sept. 3: As 75 percent of folks are rallying to leave LBI before Hermine arrives, the remainder are walkin’ about or nonchalantly waiting in line outside restaurants to leisurely dine.
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•August 30, 2016
Sand Worth Its Weight in You-Know-What; Nothing Like a Good Bunker Die-off
Here’s a weird and sandy story youdon’t have to take with a grain of salt. It’s right as desert rains.
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•August 23, 2016
Sound Way to Shoo Sharks; When Mesoglea Fly, Time to Duck
SHARK STOPPAGE: The SharkStopper folks up in Huntington, N.Y. got in touch with me to tritely say, “It’s safe to go into the water.”
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•August 17, 2016
While Greenhead ‘Black Boxes’ Come Under Eco-Fire, They Have No Problem Keeping the Generations Coming
Not long ago, I got word that LBI’s fairly-famed greenhead-trapping “black boxes” were under eco-attack. Scuttlebutt had some unknown insect-hugging sector of society talking smack about the…
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•August 9, 2016
Puffer Poisons Overrated; Time to Return Cougars to Our Outback?
TOXIC MISREAD OF SMOOTH BLOWFISH: I need to begin with a now much-traveled photo passed on by reader J. Terhoon, bearing the message, “Smooth Puffer fish caught in Barnegat Bay. Sushi anyone?”
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•August 2, 2016
Almost Killed ‘Em Off, Now Need ‘Em Bad; New Sleeping Bag for Sleepwalking?
When problems get ugly in the fish realm, you need to get uglier. I’ll explain.
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•July 26, 2016
‘Rattler Alert’ for the Pinelands; Trump Misses Cue for Pink Floyd’s ‘Wall’
The New Jersey Department of Environmental Protection has just issued alerts for the public to be on the lookout for timber rattlesnakes. Such an alert is manna from media heaven for journalists.…
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•July 19, 2016
Five-Figure Rental Without Beach Access; ‘Fish Bras’ Enlighten Lady Hookups
PAYBACKS ARE A BEACH: How can I not take a moment to mention a potential irony of ironies? It has to do with the North Beach replenishment work, which recently ran into some highly media-savvy folks…
