The Fish Story
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•September 13, 2017
A Round of Applause for Florida Evacuees; Should a Tsunami Approach, Count in Curly
I was among the cheering throngs watching H. Irma bearing down on Florida. When I say “cheering,” I’m referring to how many of us were duly impressed with the exceptional evacuation obedience of…
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•September 6, 2017
Salad Surprise Has Vegan Swearing Off Greens; Why It’s Healthy to Hate the Hell Out of Hurricanes
SALAD WITH A CROAK: During my kid years, I always worryingly wondered what my beloved grandma meant when she’d cough a bit and say, “I’ve got a frog in my throat.” I only recently realized she might…
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•August 30, 2017
Dredging Updates Are Coming in Hot and Heavy; Island’s Future Is Full of Special Delivery Flights
UPDATES GALORE: I got a new semi-upbeat update on the effort to get a Little Egg Inlet channel dredged. It seems the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service has mildly capitulated, showing willingness to at…
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•August 23, 2017
The Great Holgate Groin Arises From the Mist, New Non-Jetty Is Going Out to Bid This Fall
I need surfers, surfcasters and Holgaters to gather around the crackling campfire with me, to talk about … a giant, 1,000-foot groin, slowly inching its way toward us as we speak. “Run away!” Right?
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•August 15, 2017
As Mushrooms Bloom and El Niño Fades, Time to Let Weather History Speak
The woods are now alive with the sound of mushrooms busting through the earth. You gotta listenreal close. Come on, you can’t tell me you don’t hear it.
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•August 8, 2017
Bad Duck Days in Stafford Lagoons; The Bay Like Never Before
DEAD DUCKS AND ISLAND ROLLOVER: Geological forces are bad asses. In the whole-ball-of-wax picture, the Third Rock from the Sun is pretty much at the utter mercy of how the world turns, geologically…
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•August 1, 2017
Ubering, Sidestepping the Mob; Keep Perspective in Dangerous Night Dip
MY ANNUAL SHUTTLE THANKS: LBI’s free shuttle bus service is the greatest single amenity I’ve ever seen offered on Long Beach Island. OK, so maybe it’s theonly amenity I’ve ever seen offered on the…
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•July 25, 2017
Man ‘Saves’ Dogfish in Time for ‘Shark Week’; Rain in Buckets Can’t Kill Drought
How about that 30-foot shark that some daring man grabbed – and rescued – in the shallows of Beach Haven?
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•July 18, 2017
Neck-deep in Eelgrass Mat History; No ‘Mr. Nicestop’ for Tinted-Window Types
Weekend surfcasters met with one of the largest eelgrass washups in manyZostera moons.Zostera is the sci-term used by technical-types when talking eelgrass. Its entire Latinly name is Zostera marina.
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•July 12, 2017
Going Olfactory-Free to Melt Away Those Beige Fat Cells; Copious Kingfish Could Be Moving in After a Long Absence
I need you to put on your ponder caps, jacking up your sense of ponderment. The term for this heightened sense of pondering is ponderiferous … or at least it is now.
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•July 4, 2017
An All-time Weekend That Was; Little Egg Inlet Still Mired in Muck
NOW YOU KNOW!: When it comes to FAQs, nothing has come my way more than, “Jay, What the hell is the real speed limit on the Causeway?”
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•June 27, 2017
Backyard Ginkgoes: Survival Masters; Angler Wins, Loses, Wins and Breaks a Tailbone
WEIRDEST REQUEST EVER: I need all ya’ll to rush out and buy a ginkgo tree … and plant it one good, in a place worthy of respect and utter admiration. I’m serious – in my own way. Order yourself one –…
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•June 21, 2017
Grab Your Litmus Paper and Come With Me to the Rubbery Mediterranean; Your Watchful Eyes Are Needed, as Rip Currents Are Taking No Prisoners
Sorry, but I must go all teachy-feely on you this week. It’s in large part due to America’s distancing itself from the atmosphere, i.e. the sky’s well-being. Oh, don’t worry, this is not going to be…
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•June 13, 2017
Micro Bloodsuckers Among Us; ‘Ho Chi Shrimp’ Farmers Await Rising Sea
BLOOD FLOWS, MICROSCOPICALLY: I did a load of outback time this past torridacious weekend and I must re-up a warning to anyone venturing near the woods. We’re going through some sort of tick upsurge…
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•June 6, 2017
A Countdown to LBI ‘Localness’; When Hungry Sea Lions Get Grabby
“What does it take to be a local on Long Beach Island?”
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•May 30, 2017
Weighing In on 3,000-Pound Great Lakes Great; LEI Channel-Building Sweats Out Reviews
So, my email suddenly lights up with a story headlined, “Fisherman Captures 3,000-Pound Great White Shark in Great Lakes?” As incontrovertible proof, there is a ride-along photo of a smiling fishing…
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•May 24, 2017
Wear This New Product and Either Attract or Repel Sharks; When Deer Become Too Dear, They Invite in Their Riders
BEAT THE BAND: A blacktip shark in Florida didn’t buy the hype surrounding a wristwatch-like product called Sharkbanz. Say it out loud, kinda slowly, and you’ll get the essence of the band’s alleged…
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•May 17, 2017
When the Gospel Truth Stretches a Bit; My Pet Quarry Awaits Its Angling Days
I’m often asked, “Jay, are the things you write about true?” To which I honestly answer, “As true as I want them to be.” Uh, OK.
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•May 10, 2017
Rotting Takes a Turn for the Better; Trolls Give Trolling a Bad Name
If, as a kid, you were traumatized by the mamma-deer death scene in the movie “Bambi,” you likely stayed up at night contriving ways to get back at that hunter who shot Bambi’s mom. Well, it has…
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•May 3, 2017
Don’t Tell Me to Leave the Shore!; ‘Bring Sexy Back’ to Reel Cleaning
COME VENTY RANT WITH ME: I need to vent. Or is it rant. Let’s call it a venty rant – and create a whole new genre of pissing and moaning. Why not come along for the Mann ride of it?
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•April 25, 2017
Fighting the Flu With Frog Goo; Mom and Dad Will Never Know
Let’s see, in just the past few weeks, I’ve exposed how dogfish and ticks are harboring inner ingredients that might soon be rescuing all of humanity from maladies and madness. This week, I’m…
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•April 19, 2017
Marking Fish Using eDNA; Bat-Flavored Spring Mix
DNA DON’T LIE: T’was a Beach Haven old-timer, Chris Sprague, who would jerk the chains of us kids by sniffing a pinch of bay water and authoritatively telling us what fish were around. Oh, we kinda…
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•April 12, 2017
Snake Fishing Can Have a Bite to It; Thick Tick Times Are Approaching
TOXICALLY NASTY SNAKE: I got an excited call from a gal whose hubby had been bitten by a snake -one he had tried to catch on hook and line. Geez, so why did the snake bite him? Duh.
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•April 5, 2017
Duck Puts Cat Lives to Shame; Doing Alligator Meat Taste Test
THE DUCK THAT DIDN’T DUCK … OR DIE: Bear with me as I tell the simple, quasi-sad story of a now-dead but once dead-then-not-dead duck, specifically a female Canada ring-neck duck, which was killed…
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•March 29, 2017
Don’t Drive and Watch Bigfoot at the Same Time; Dogfish Can Drive You Mad – and Then Cure You
BIGFOOT MADE ME DO IT: How can I not passalong one of the greatest car-hits-deer stories ever told? It took place just a few days back on US-95, over Idaho way, where a 50-year-old, normalish woman…
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•March 22, 2017
Eggs of Another Color; Stink Over Sebastian Inlet; Pigeons in Fine Feather With Icy Mist
OF WARS AND HEN EGGS: When we say, eat or order eggs, it’s done with a primal confidence that we’re talking about the eggs of good-oldGallus gallus domesticus, i.e. ye everyday chicken. With the…
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•March 15, 2017
Radioactive Pigs Take Over Fukushima; Little Egg Inlet Gets Channel Promise
RADIOACTIVE PORKERS: Most of you have never met a wild hog in a highly personal manner. I did, down south Florida way. It was a shocking meet-up, if based only on the fierce, wild-pig sounds that…
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•March 8, 2017
Tilapia Skin to the Second-Degree Rescue; I Scream, You Scream, for Fishy Ice Cream
So, you’re in Brazil and before you realize the Portuguese word for “hot!” is ardente! you’re on the way to a Rio hospital with second-degree burns. Then, before you can scream “Send me back to…
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•March 1, 2017
A Naked Man Hangs Down in Mississippi; Down Under in the Land of Down Under
After last week’s column write-up of a treehouse granny’s fight for her right to live the good arboreal life, I wasn’t surprised to get a slew of folks sending me a tree-related news report regarding…
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•February 22, 2017
Don’t Kick Her Out of Her Tree; Check My Neck for Any Bat Bites
I had just watched another episode of Animal Planet’s high-flying “Treehouse Masters” series when I read about a ruckus in Miami, where a media-dubbed “hippie grandmother” was being put upon by the…
