RADIOACTIVE PORKERS: Most of you have never met a wild hog in a highly personal manner. I did, down south Florida way. It was a shocking meet-up, if based only on the fierce, wild-pig sounds that ensued.

I was mountain biking seldom-used paths, moving at a damn decent speed, when I came upon the beast. Anybody who seriously mountain bikes the outback will tell you that bikes are an amazingly stealthy way to slide up on unsuspecting wildlife.