I would like to share my experiences of the college application process with all of you who are currently enjoying this rite of passage. First off, I suggest you drink heavily. It does nothing for the process, but it might make you feel better.

For 17 years we have been preparing our babes for this momentous step, going to college. The majority of you, like me, watched the “Ivies” being taken off the table by the end of the first marking period freshman year.