Spoiler alert: This segment will likely lose me readers and might even have the men in black government Suburbans come and take me away – all over dead whales. Hey, it’s worth the sacrifice. Whales are the whole ball of wax when it comes to oceanic health. As go the whales, so goes the ocean.

I’ll begin by unbridling a five-syllable word: disingenuous. In simple speak, it means insincere, but with a ton more oomph.