To the Editor:

1. As the waitress at the Stafford Diner was preparing to serve me coffee at the counter, I said, “I don’t drink coffee after noon.” A man on the next stool replied, “What happens next? You turn into a pumpkin?”

2. A man told the waitress at the counter he had to go out to his car to get his wallet. I responded, thinking it was soft enough he wouldn’t hear what I said, “That’s a likely story.” He heard and agreed.

March 4, 2026