For all you whale carcass chasers, you missed your big chance. The gory fin whale remains that washed up on the Barnegat Light beachfront are gone. “To where?” you ask. Even though I’m sworn to utter secrecy, I can’t hold it in!

In a remarkably modernistic display of disposal, all the drippy disenfranchised whale parts were transported for loading aboard an Elon Musk “Earth Refuse Removal” rocket and launched directly into space.