ENCAPSULATE ME!: I was recently offered a free round-trip flight to a foreign fishing land from a rich buddy. I bowed out, using a lame accuse that I had somehow contracted just the smallest touch of bola-bola. In reality, I’m infected with a crippling fear of flying. In recent years, it’s soared into an abjectly horrific dread of flying.

In technical terms, fear of flying is known as aviophobia. Even in technical terms, it frickin’ terrifies me.