I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE UP TO: Life is always throwing clandestine profundities at me. Perfect example: Driving up Route 9 over the weekend, I eyed a billboard advertising the New Jersey Lottery. Taking up almost the entire sign surface were the weighty words: “Win Before Your Neighbor Does.”

What a weird frickin’ concept.

I have always liked my neighbors, but, just like that, this billboard spoke to me. Its words began sprouting in my brain, like tiny little paranoia plants.