Being single and kid-less, I sometimes feel really out of the Christmas loop. Along those same lines, I often get asked why I never married. Let’s just say I had something of a disconnect from spousehoodedness when my earliest relationships repeatedly tried to instill me with a life axiom, namely “If a tree falls in a forest and there’s nobody around to hear it … it’s more than likely my fault.”

But I only recently realized how far I had ranged out of the homey Christmas loop when I was informed about the…