NOSTRAJAYMUS: During a recent, high-intensity, grocery-buying event, I watched as grocery bags were filling like reservoirs. It was a little in-line to-do that caught my eye. It was over plastic bags. Hmmm. A number of folks freely sounded off.

That very night, I had the oddest of dreams. I was walking a strange and exotic beach, a lot like Holgate before the erosion, and came upon this glowing, golden book titled, “The Rise and Fall of the USA.”

I got this Nostradamus-like rush and opened it.

Uninterested in the “Rise” part, I flipped forward to the “Fall,” where I was saddened, though not overly shocked, to…