The Fish Story
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•February 13, 2014
Our Beloved Excesses Are Drying Up; Sea Otters Acting Very Unotterly-like
In America, we love our hard-earned excesses. Yes, we’ve earned them. Look how many wars we’ve fought to protect our oft overindulgent lifestyles. OK, so maybe our win-loss record at war has sunk a…
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•February 6, 2014
Fear Fake Chinese Bee Pollen; Back in the Golden TWC Days
I was just alerted – with a decent amount of urgency – to the growing problem of “fake Chinese bee pollen” infiltrating the health food realm.
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•January 30, 2014
Planking My Way Onto Virgin Ice: When the Cove Calls, I Step Out
It’s time to think ice fishing on Collin’s Cove, Mullica River, viewable from the southbound Parkway.
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•January 23, 2014
It’s Blibsy and Blobby Out There; Drones Will Surely Start Fishing
I’m still getting continually asked about snowy owls in Holgate. The concise answer is “the buggers are still there.” As many as five were spotted there Sunday, Jan. 19, including one I saw with a…
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•January 15, 2014
Turning a Blind Eye to My Vacation; Snowy Watching Too Much for Some
I need to take a blog moment to talk retinas. Yep, those things located somewhere in the farthest reaches of your eyes. Sufficed to say, they’re part and parcel to seeing straight. You want to keep…
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•January 9, 2014
Bring Out Your Diamonds; Snowys Cruise Back Home?
SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DIAMOND: Manmade diamonds are nothing new. But here’s an emerging facet of the industry I’m hoping will stay in the rough.
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•December 18, 2013
It’s Time for Time Off; Acid Makes Fish Jittery
The SandPaper is off on vacation until early January. It happens every year around the holidays. However, for me, this holiday hiatus is like manna spiced with nirvana and graced with a touch of…
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•December 12, 2013
Snowy Owls Out of Crosshairs; GMO Salmon Could Sneak In
I’m proud to say we helped draw attention to the snowy owl massacre taking place at airports in the NYC Metro area.
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•November 28, 2013
Cockroaches for Fun and Seniors; Saving a Choking Greenland Shark
I was alerted to the entrepreneur Wang Fuming, 42, of Shandong Province, China, by an eminent entomologist I buddied up with long ago.
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•November 21, 2013
Death of a World Record Quahog; The Hurricane Season That Wasn’t
In my world of journalism, it’s a growing enigma as to which news stories will sizzle the worldwide news wires, i.e. the cloud. With the web now carrying all newsfeeds, even the smallest of wires can…
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•November 14, 2013
From Iran to Baggy Pants Ban; Try to Tolerate Replenishments
With so much undesired spare time on my wi-fi laptop hands, I’ve been eyeing the e-news more than my actionless spiked rods. (Yes, I’ve actually been bait fishing – sorta. See below.)
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•November 6, 2013
For That Glowing Moon Snail Skin; The Deer History of Protein Bars
A beautician named Ellie sent me a story she just knew I’d want to groom. It has to do with the emerging financial potential of facial snail slime. At first, I took this tale with a grain of salt.
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•October 30, 2013
It’s Cursedly Hard to Quit Cussin’; Poor Fishing Not to the Panic Point
I got a fun-loving communiqué from a fun, older gal – a close church friend – with a contact for Cursers Anonymous, a group meant to reign in royally foul mouths, i.e. cuss buckets. It was something…
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•October 24, 2013
Death of a Mi’kmaq Moose; Having Fun Fearing the Forecasts
This is a sad and troubling segment about a murdered white moose in Nova Scotia. Perhaps you’ve read about this hunting travesty, a clear-cut case of discrimination against all albinos.
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•October 16, 2013
A Bobcat Cruises the ‘Hood; Beach Sinkhole Eats a GMC
I keep getting photos of a big-ass bobcat pussyfooting aroundColony Lakes in Manahawkin. I’m serious here. These are some through-the-window, clear-as-glass pics of your proverbial bobcat.
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•October 10, 2013
It’s Time to Think LBI Figs; ‘Classic’ Moves Into Position
So far, fall is peeling away in a weird way. The mullet run died before it was born, the fishing is epically bad, and my favorite football teams are stinkin’ up the place.
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•October 3, 2013
Lady Blows Up Over Blowfish; Things Are Getting Squirrely
I have waited until blowfish season has flown/swum the coop to mention an unnecessarily testy email and phone call I got from an apparently easily irritated female. I quickly realized she exuded the…
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•September 26, 2013
Surely, You’re Plugging Wrong And Don’t Call Me Surely
I gotta go neck-deep into angling this week, heavens forbid.
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•September 19, 2013
Hail to the Possum King; A One-Day, $1,000 Bass
I’m getting word of a veritable glut of raccoons now on LBI.
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•September 12, 2013
I Don’t See No Stinkin’ Baby; Bean, the Loco-est Chihuahua
LOUSY LAWS – AND ONE THAT SHOULD BE: Growing up I was an odd kid. Who woulda guessed, right? I hated comics. They were far too complicated, with one glowing exception: an oft-hidden comical gem…
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•September 5, 2013
A Pack of Survivalists Spotted; Insanity Is Just Too Strenuous
Grabbing my dragonfly ID book, I always hit the outback right about now for a rolling read on these comely and tasty insects. Yes, tasty. No, I wouldn’t eat one if it was the last female on Earth.…
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•August 29, 2013
Plaudits to LBI Pedestrians; LBT Puts Brakes on Buggies
Every now and again this column has to go through the editorial ceiling. This is the week. I’m royally riled about everything from global warming misreads to being kept from buggying Holgate for all…
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•August 22, 2013
A Minor Mink Stink in BL; Beaches, Buggies, More
LBI Thoughts: It’s been a god-awful summer for some businesses and an ass-kickin’ godsend for others. Here’s to the many shops and businesses kicking tourist butt, so to speak. A slew of shop owners…
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•August 15, 2013
Swedes Cover Their Privates; A ‘Wail’ of a Paper Wasp Time
NO NEW TANGENTS: An avid reader observed that my writing often goes a tad astray, as in careening off on tangents. I don’t agree at all, but are you pronouncing “careening” like karening or…
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•August 7, 2013
Hubbub Over Shark Handling; Sand Tigers Make Lousy Moms
Boy, was that some seriously superb weather. For those who might be reading this in the distant future, I’m hoping that crystal clear, mild summer days are still around in your globally-warmed world.
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•August 1, 2013
I Ate Poison Ivy in Another Life; Dolphins Have a Really Bad Week
REMEMBER WHEN: Do you believe in reincarnation? Me, neither. How could I not recollect having once been, say, an earthworm or an exotic shrub? Still, now and again, I toy with the re-embodiment…
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•July 25, 2013
Glowing Condoms Loomin’ Large; Becoming Skilled at Not Working
The weirdness bug is back. The latest fly-by has to do with things that go bump in the night – sorta.
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•July 18, 2013
I’m Beyond Spittin’ Cotton; Complex Easement Trials
Water temps have taken advantage of the offshore and land/sea breezes. In one day, the suds went from the goosebumpish 50s into the ain’t-bad 70s. By week’s end, solar heating could kick the surf…
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•July 4, 2013
Big Foot Is Really a Blur; Spiders Sucking Fumes
BACK TO MUNDANENESS: Dang-it all. That Barnegat Inlet tsunami thing set the intensity bar hopelessly high in my column-writing realm. Last week, a waterspout in Loveladies tried to help out but that…
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•June 27, 2013
Tsunami’s Moment of Impact; Letter From Jetty Survivors
I might have to rename this column the Tsunami Times.
